random stories and thoughts

The last day I was able to go to the land where my Dad was born, where everyone was born and started out as a family, who had farms, my Great Grandfather who ran the only black owned business (a store) at the time, where my family played in a band for church - EVERYTHING!

Conway, Arkansas

Was able to meet many kinfolk out there, it was a whirlwind of hugs, handshakes, kisses, stories, laughter, questions, food. I met about 20 new family members in a matter of 5 hours! I am truly blessed.

Got to see homes where people were literally born in and raised.

This is where my family is from, this where kids played, where herbs were found, where hogs were slaughtered supplying food and fat for soap, where fish was caught, where people got married and where people left, came back and where some died.

My dad has never been back here since he left.

And to think I was going to show up in Arkansas not knowing anyone existed and was just going to go to the local library and look up names...

I am truly thankful.

Did I mention I had the best sweet potatoe pie EVER from a cousin of mine straight from the oven (will never go back to pumpkin pie) AND had a cousin make a cd for me from his band!


Spending time with one cousin of mine I learned quite a bit on how much of a divide there really is in the south that really didn't go away after the civil war. A divide that will always be between blacks and whites and a divide that will seemingly always be between the south and the north. Living in a predominantly white area, with me being the 'other' it was certainly refreshing to hear my family talk about white people as the 'others'. People still have their confederate flags hanging over their porches just like it was 1862. There is a strange politeness from white people that is somewhat familiar to me coming from Vancouver. My cousin was really good to talk to about racism and it felt like we were on the same page, but simultaneously a different book. I am learning more and more about how conservative a lot of my family is – a lot of homophobia, my Dad is looked down upon for dodging the draft because so and so was stationed here or there for world war 2 and so and so went to Vietnam...they support police presence and are fond of former president clinton and are EXTREMELY religious. It's almost like meeting liberals who live in Kits, but have experienced racism in the south. (only a vancouverite might get that...)

Never the less, not every single family member is the same and each one has their own story and experience and survival strategies and I love them and they have welcomed me in their lives very graciously as I have them.

Wow, I sound weird right now...

Good news is, I will be returning for a family re union that is in the making.