dem rabbits

Took a quick bus ride to Marshall, Texas from Arkansas to meet another cousin who is on my Grandmother's side, been mostly meeting folks from Grandfather's side. This cousin of mine has been solid with me ever since I started my trip. He has called me like clock work pretty much every second day to see how I am doing and to make sure I am safe.

'Hey cuz, you know, just checking to see you're alright and stuff like that, so you doin' okay?'

'Alright, cool, well I'm gonna go now, you call me when you're gettin' closer...'

So now I am here in Texas, in the middle of no where to meet my cousin, his daughter, his grandson and his Mother and Aunt and Uncle and Sister and other folks. It is Thanksgiving for them, I do not tell family members I am opposed to giving thanks to massacres throughout the states that have been committed by new settlers - because then they'll start making fun of me and will ask me if I am going to the next G8 summmit 'to protest' - so I'm just gonna make things simple and enjoy the food and company. For most family members it's just a reason to get the family together and eat well.

So, my cuz takes care of some land and he's a truck driver and he really likes it out in the country and he IS country. The area he lives in, out in the country is predominantly black. Everyone has goats or cows or horses, chickens, everyone goes hunting and everyone, and I mean EVERYPNE has a bbq. Now they don't mess around with bbq's here, it isn't some propane fuelled stainless steel container you buy at walmart for 39.99 that comes with a cleaning brush - I am talking huge contraptions that are like the size of trailers, with different places to put the coals, different spots to put the meat for smoking, another spot to put the meet for flame broiling, I mean, it's outtahand.

I get to the house where people from all over Texas have come to stay, this house was their Grandparents and they grew up in it, so they keep it empty to house family and friends whenever they want to visit from out of town. The place is packed with food, they have the smoker on the lawn, also everyone parks their cars on the lawn too. In the smoker is prime rib, in the kitchen is turkey, the ham is so tender you can pull strips of it off just like bacon AND there is cornish hen, then there are collard greens, turnip greens, the best dressing I have ever tasted in my life and hot water corn cakes. Um yah, I had seconds and thirds, then of course they wanted me to pack food up like I might get hungry in half an hour or something. There were 8 desserts. Pound cake, chocolate pound cake, homemade cheesecake, buttermilk pie, sweet potatoe pie, german chocolate cake with coconut icing and I cannot remember what else because they had to resuscitate me before I had the last two which they spoon fed me before I passed out.

random stories and thoughts

The last day I was able to go to the land where my Dad was born, where everyone was born and started out as a family, who had farms, my Great Grandfather who ran the only black owned business (a store) at the time, where my family played in a band for church - EVERYTHING!

Conway, Arkansas

Was able to meet many kinfolk out there, it was a whirlwind of hugs, handshakes, kisses, stories, laughter, questions, food. I met about 20 new family members in a matter of 5 hours! I am truly blessed.

Got to see homes where people were literally born in and raised.

This is where my family is from, this where kids played, where herbs were found, where hogs were slaughtered supplying food and fat for soap, where fish was caught, where people got married and where people left, came back and where some died.

My dad has never been back here since he left.

And to think I was going to show up in Arkansas not knowing anyone existed and was just going to go to the local library and look up names...

I am truly thankful.

Did I mention I had the best sweet potatoe pie EVER from a cousin of mine straight from the oven (will never go back to pumpkin pie) AND had a cousin make a cd for me from his band!


Spending time with one cousin of mine I learned quite a bit on how much of a divide there really is in the south that really didn't go away after the civil war. A divide that will always be between blacks and whites and a divide that will seemingly always be between the south and the north. Living in a predominantly white area, with me being the 'other' it was certainly refreshing to hear my family talk about white people as the 'others'. People still have their confederate flags hanging over their porches just like it was 1862. There is a strange politeness from white people that is somewhat familiar to me coming from Vancouver. My cousin was really good to talk to about racism and it felt like we were on the same page, but simultaneously a different book. I am learning more and more about how conservative a lot of my family is – a lot of homophobia, my Dad is looked down upon for dodging the draft because so and so was stationed here or there for world war 2 and so and so went to Vietnam...they support police presence and are fond of former president clinton and are EXTREMELY religious. It's almost like meeting liberals who live in Kits, but have experienced racism in the south. (only a vancouverite might get that...)

Never the less, not every single family member is the same and each one has their own story and experience and survival strategies and I love them and they have welcomed me in their lives very graciously as I have them.

Wow, I sound weird right now...

Good news is, I will be returning for a family re union that is in the making.

Got to walk along the river front, then stumble upon (okay I did a bit of research) this amazing building, they do not call themselves a museum per say, but I met this woman who worked there and she had such on interesting story, it turns out her niece and nephew live in Vancouver and they have the same history as me, in terms of having a father who is a draft dodger and their family is originally from the south.

So this woman shared stories with me ( who works at this building) about how the whole area on 9th street was a black community in the 60's and was thriving and full of black owned businesses, etc. I learned that my cousin used to go out dancing on that street and everyone I eventually spoke with remembers that area fondly as you could find anything there, for a good price, there was always something to do for everyone of all ages and people looked out for each other. But then there is this revitalisation tactic that gets in the way...

The whole building out of many museums that focus on African American history was absolutely amazingly informative, probably because the state was funding this one. Unlike most, it had a comprehensive history around slavery, racism, migration, displacement, solidarity and activism, pioneer-ism, community and how they are all tied together. I was really impressed. But the building itself was a multi busniness unit in it's prime back in the day. The very building this 'museum' was in is the only building left standing (even after a fire - was rebuilt) and when you look outside, across the street and down the street, it is vacant.

I was mesmorised.

Burn Rubber (why you wanna hurt me)

We arrived at night, went to sleep right away, but woke up and got started, went to the genealogy centre, did some research then my cousin took me around first to meet her daughter and her grandsons. Both handsome and respectable men – one 15, the other 4. The 4 year old can play the drums and he is super cool. Then two more cousins came over and at first it was the twenty questions and 10 of them were about hair and how we managed it. Then, well, it went straight to the karaoke machine they had bought.

“Why haven't I met my family earlier?” ...is the question.

We broke out songs that I hadn't heard in years (okay I'm lying, I listened to most of them last week) and such an eclectic yet, homogeneous mix of Mary J. Blige, The O' Jays, Earth Wind & Fire, The Gap Band, Michael Jackson pre white face, Sam Cooke, Grandmaster Flash, and oh so much more. Hours of fun, cousins can sing, I learned a new dance. For those of you who grew up in the States don't make fun of me, but I learned the bunny hop for the first time, but I was a quick learner and am a master now.

Met the cutest baby with the chunkiest thighs and beautiful eyes. She liked me and let me nibble on some of her fat.

don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem

Watching the sunset and driving with my cousin and her husband through Missouri and passing a town called Peculiar, I found myself thinking, wow, I got myself here after years of saving and am now riding with cousins whom I didn't even know existed until a week before and now we were on our way to a town where my Dad and all his siblings were born, but also my grandfather and grandmother were born too - a town where my grandparents met and got married, a town that has so much history, family history at that. We were on our way to Little Rock and Conway, Arkansas.